March 5, 2009 - Hope your wedding planning is going smoothly. Remember there's a bridal show this Sunday, Visalia Convention Center starting at 11 AM. I'll be onstage sometime during the day doing Musical Grooms, so bring your honey on by and maybe he can win something for you! Also, I still have a size 6 unaltered never-been-worn wedding dress available; it will be in my booth so if you know of someone who needs a dress or if you need one yourself, this might be gown for you.

In previous discussions I've discussed vows, officiants and ceremony amenities. Today I wanted to touch on bridal parties and some things to consider.

It doesn't matter how large your bridal party is: it can be just a Maid or Matron of Honor and a Best Man, or it can be 9 attendants on each side. There are a couple of things to consider though, when deciding how many you'll have. One thing to remember is the more attendants you have the more money you'll be spending on gifts and flowers. The other thing to consider is how much space you have at the ceremony and reception locations. If you are getting married in a small church that might limit how many attendants you can have. At the reception you don't want an attendant mad at you because they couldn't sit with you. One way is to limit the number of attendants; another solution might be to have a separate table for attendants. Some brides and grooms have a table just for the two of them and have the attendants sit at another table close to them. If you feel self-conscious, you might have the maid of honor and the best man sit with you.

Another thing to consider is how much time you have until your wedding and what you are asking your bridal party members to do for you. Bridemaids and groomsmen are typically responsible to buy or rent their own outfits. If you're getting married next year they have more to save the money to get what they need for you. On the other hand, if you are getting married in a few months, you should consider, especially in this economic climate, how much you are asking your bridal party to invest in you in a short period of time.

I've seen some weddings where the bride chose to put her bridesmaids in inexpensive, off-the-rack dresses that were pretty, classy and comfortable, especially at spring and summer events.

Another thing to consider is the use of children in your bridal party. I have to share a personal story with you. Our youngest son is the youngest of his generation in our family. When he was a toddler his older brother started taking him to the bridal shows, putting him in a little tux and taking him on-stage with the models. He quickly graduated to ring bearer in actually weddings. When he was about 4 we went to a wedding as guests. I noticed he was acting uncharacteristically controlled prior to the wedding. Just before the ceremony started he leaned over to me and asked, "Dad, when do I go get in my tux?" He had never been to a wedding where he wasn't the ring bearer!

My son did a good job as a ring bearer, but he was good at following directions. That's the biggest thing you want to make sure: the kids must be able to understand when someone says, "Come up here." or something similar. If the children are too young they often lose interest shorlty after beginning their walk down the aisle and will end up wandering aimlessly about at the back of the guests' chairs.

The other thing you need to consider is stage-fright. You want to use kids that are outgoing and won't get scared. That's actually pretty easy: most kids like being the center of attention, it's not til we get older that we worry about looking goofy!

If you have a baby you want to include in the bridal party I've seen two ideas that work well. One was to have the maid of honor carry the baby down the aisle. The other is to get a wagon, decorate it in the colors of the wedding and have the ringbearer and flowergirl pull the wagon down the aisle.

Here's some links to help you further:

Ideas for choosing your bridal party from Mahalo.com
Wedding gifts for children
Choosing your bridal party

Good luck with the planning and hope to see you at the bridal show this week end. Remember as you plan your wedding, have fun with it!

Feb 25, 2009 - Hope your wedding planning is going smoothly. Last time I wrote a little about vows. This time I'd like to share a little insight into things brides do to add to their ceremony.

NEWS FLASH: Remember, March 8th, a week from this Sunday is Wedding Style Bridal Show at the Visalia Convention Center. I'll be there doing my "world famous" Musical Groomsmen showcase, so make sure you come by for the show. Doors open at 11 AM, the fashion show starts around 2 PM. I'll be there in my booth and making some stage appearances, so drop by and say hi!

I'm sure you're all familiar with the candle-lighting ceremony you see at a lot of weddings. It's a great tradition, demonstrates symbolically the new relationship of a husband and wife becoming one and makes for great memories and photos. If you are thinking about doing a candle-lighting as a part of your ceremony by all means, go ahead! For those of you who aren't sure, I offer this piece of advice: if you are having an outdoor wedding, do something other than candles. Outside the weather is unpredictable; if you've ever seen the movie "The Weatherman" with Nicholas Cage, his meteorological colleague makes the comment "You know, wind is everywhere..." And, it seems whenever there's a candle lighting ceremony at an outdoor wedding wind makes an appearance. I've witnessed mothers trying to light candles and the lighters won't stay lit; I've seen brides and grooms struggle, sometimes giving up with lighting the candle because the wind is just too strong. There are however, alternatives.

Check out these links for some alternate ideas:
1) "The Knot's" Alternatives to Unity Candles
2) About.com's Unity Candle Ideas (this site mentions a truce bell; I'm gonna get me one of those!)
3) Edyta Szyszlo's Blog (This photographer's blog mentions using a "money tree"- check it out!)

The other thing I wanted to touch on briefly is music. Using music outside the traditional marches to augment your ceremony is a great idea; just keep one thing in mind: don't make the music too long! I've seen weddings where brides have used two songs for the candle lighting and insisted they both be played in their entirety. The average song is 3.5 minutes long; just sit and stare at the wall for 7 minutes and see how long that feels. Now imagine being in front of everyone in the warm sunshine just standing there for 7 minutes. It's an eternity!

Of course, the idea is the guests get to hear the lyrics of the song(s) that are so special to you; there's just one problem. Most people listen to just a little bit of the song before their minds start to wander. So, my suggestion is this: stick to no more than one song at a time and if necessary, have the song tailored so that your favorite lyrics play relatively soon in whatever it is you're using the song. If you have a song that is meaningful and you want it played all the way through, I suggest using it for the dance later. One way to incorporate special songs is to have a married couples dance or have one song for a first dance from you to your groom then later have a second dance where the song is dedicated from your groom to you.

There are plenty of inventive ways to incorporate music into your event. If you're having trouble or concerns trying to decide exactly what to do, give me a call or drop an email and I'll give you the benefit of my 20 years of experience! (I have tons of great answers, I just need people to ask the questions!) 

Well, that's it for this time. Good luck with all that planning and remember...

Have fun with it!

Feb 18, 1009 - Hi! Hope your wedding planning is going well. This is John at ZZYXZ with more news and ideas you can use for your wedding.

NEWS FLASH!!! I was contacted today by a bride who bought a dress and has now changed her mind but cannot return or get credit for the dress. She has a size 6 dress that she is ready to make a deal on! It's never been worn except to try on. If you know of anyone who
might be interested let me know and I will forward pictures of the dress so you can see it. It's never been altered and could be an inexpensive dress option for someone who is looking for a size 6. If you know of anyone who might be interested have them email or call me!

Next...
--------------------------------------------------------------

Making the Commitment

One of the greatest parts of a wedding (and the first thing you'll be performing)
are the vows. Years ago there was a pretty standard format for vows; the minister
did most of the talking and the bride and groom just repeated what they were told
with their name in place of "your name here." I still see that occasionally, but more
often the bride and groom are writing their own vows. It's much more personal
when you write your own vows, make your own very personal commitments to
your betrothed and hear words from the heart from your spouse. I've even seen
some theatrics thrown in, too! (More on that later)

You don't have to be a poet or even a good writer to do your own vows. As an
officiant, there are certain things that I'm required to say when I pronounce
someone husband and wife, but for you, there are no legal requirements regarding
what you say to each other. You can say what you feel.  If you aren't sure where to
get started there are a number of web sites that will give you some great ideas and
starting points. Here's some of them:

1) Find actual vows and ideas galore!

2) 6 step process for writing your vows.

3) 13 categories of sample vows.

4) Print this form to use as a guide while planning your vows.

5) Preview a book about writing your vows!

As you can see from the examples, there are plenty of ways to customize your vows.
If you are using your pastor or minister to officiate the wedding the vows will
probably have a Christian tone to them, whereas non-denominational officiants
such as myself are usually more flexible and can include or exclude religious references
depending on your own personal tastes.

OK, I told you earlier you can even incorporate theatrics into your vows. I recently
did a wedding where the bridesmaids and bride had planned something special at
the "I Do" moment. When the officiant (I was doing the music!) asked the bride if
she took the groom as her husband she replied, "I do, I do, I do" whereupon all the
bridesmaids looked over their right shoulders at the audience and added in unison
"She does, she does, she does!" You can imagine what a memorable moment that was!

Have fun customizing your vows if you choose to do so. If you still have problems
deciding what to do feel free to drop me an email stating your concerns as I have the
right answers, I just need somebody to ask me the right questions! Until next time, enjoy
this great time of your life, keep smiling and enjoy the shopping! And remember...

Have fun with it!

John

Date: Wednesday, February 4, 2009,

HI! Just wanted to say hello and hope that your wedding planning is going great. The past couple of days I've been in contact with a lot of brides and it's been fun talking to each of you about your plans. Many of you are utilizing friends as DJs for your event. I'm sure that makes it easy on your pocketbook but please be careful: I've gotten calls on Saturday afternoons from panicked brides and grooms who thought their friend would make their wedding important only to find themselves without a DJ on their wedding day. I'm also finding a lot of brides who are kinda unsure about what they should be doing to get ready for their wedding and what some of the considerations are for their entertainment, be it a band or a DJ. I recently e-chatted with Brittany, an April bride and while we were unfortunately already sold out for her date, I shared with her the important aspects every bride needs to consider for her wedding. I thought it might help other brides if I shared it so I'm forwarding it to you:

I will share some insights with you, especially in regard to the White Horse. First of all, don't fret too much over your ceremony music. Jeanie and Gary have a sound system up near the waterfall that they will let you use for your ceremony music. Talk to your DJ as far as who will supply the actual music (you, him or the White Horse) and what format (CD, MP3, etc) the music will be in.

Things to consider with music:

1) background music for guest arrival;
2) song for the parents,
3) another for the bridesmaids,
4) one for you,
5) a unity candle or similar event song, (if you're having one) and
6) recessional (bridal party leaves altar).

When in doubt about what songs to play, consult the people involved. For instance, ask your mom or his mom for song suggestions for them to walk down the aisle. Having others help you pick the music will take the stress off and gets others involved in the planning of the little stuff, letting you concentrate on the big stuff. Once you hire a DJ, consult with them for further advice. The only personal advice I give is make the recessional something upbeat; it sets the tone for the rest of the reception, which will be much longer than the ceremony.

The typical layout at the White Horse puts the DJ on the lower deck close to the bar. Typically, Jeanie and Gary allow the DJ to tie into their speakers located up by the dining area allowing music in both areas. Usually, after everyone is done eating, the White Horse staff removes the buffet tables (if you're having a buffet) and the upstairs brick area is made available to you. You and your DJ will need to decide if your special dances will take place upstairs or downstairs.

Once you have your DJ hired he will typically need the following information:

1) names of parents (let him know if anyone is divorced and if they are, are they remarried and does everybody get along!);
2) names of bridal party members such as bridesmaids, groomsmen, maid of honor, best man, ringbearer, flowergirl and anyone else involved in the processional;
3) who is doing the toast (please notify the person(s) doing the toast a few months in advance so they have time to write and practice something. If they suffer from stage fright have them check the Internet for the Toastmasters International group nearest them and that group will actually allow them to come in and practice in front of a small group as well as give pointers on perfecting the delivery);
4) who is giving a prayer, if any;
5) special songs you'll want.

When it comes to music, you'll need to think about

1)your first dance song;
2) a song to dance with your father;
3) a song for your groom to dance with his mother;
4) bridalparty dance song;
5) money dance songs.

You might choose to combine the two of you dancing with your parents or let's say he's self-conscious about dancing with his mom; just drop that dance. It's perfectly OK. Again, if you aren't sure what songs to use, talk to the parents involved about songs that remind them of you or they remember from when you were born, etc. FM Softrock 98.7 in the Central Valley area is a good source for wedding music. You can also visit my website at zzydj.com for suggestions. Other songs to consider, but that your DJ should stock, are songs for the bouquet and garter tosses, and the cake cutting.

As far as dance music goes, I give a few general advisories:

1) Tell your DJ the kind(s) of music you DON'T want as well as what you do want;
2) Let your DJ build you a playlist; don't try to program the music for the whole night. It rarely works, the DJ will end up playing other music and you are wasting valuable time prior to the wedding;
3) Let your DJ take requests. Your guests will have more fun and will stay longer if they get some input as to what gets played. Your DJ will work with you on this, but I usually suggest that you plan the evening so that your give your guests about 1 to 1-1/2 hours of uninterrupted dance time. That is pretty much what you're looking at for planning the entertainment for your wedding.

Jeanie will work closely with you so if you have any questions about just about anything she can usually answer them or get you an answer. Use her as a resource as she is very helpful. Hope that helps with your planning; if you have any other questions and you want some input, email me. I guess I can now put a shameless plug in here for myself: if you are planning a video montage for the wedding I make them, and I get rave reviews on shows that are fun and incorporate a lot of music and animation. [End of shameless plug!] Good luck with your planning and your wedding and remember,

Have fun with it!

January 22, 2009

Notes on dance floor sizing: 30% of your guests will be on the dance floor at any given time. For 150 guests the recommended size of the floor is 15' X 15'. 200 guests calls for 18 X 18. This is just a general guideline. If you know you have a party crowd then you might opt for the larger dance floor. On the other hand, if you have a group that winds up being older, doesn't drink much, doesn't dance much, then you could opt for the smaller floor.